29er’s no longer going to be made – The Web Monkey Speaks: Please Don’t Kill The 29er

I’d only just accepted 29ers as being proper mountain bikes, and now this?!

Kite*Surf*Bike*Rambling

i love my Lynskey 29er – it is the most versatile and fastest hard tail I have owned ….

this from DIRT

I’ll just cut to the chase here: If you are a product manager in the bike industry, I’m begging you, don’t kill off the 29ers in your line-up.

I understand that 26 is dead. I know that you could make the greatest mountain bike in the world and not sell a single one of them if they were equipped with “old” 26er wheels because 650b/”27.5” is now Jesus Chris’s Official wheelset of choice. I get that. I’m not really happy about it, but I’m a realist and I understand that the battle for the hearts of the masses has been won. 650b has effectively kicked sand in the face of 26 and strolled off with his girlfriend.

Fine.

But let’s not also kill off 29ers. Not yet. Please.

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What the bible says about DOGS

It is now scientifically established that dogs are wholly satanic.  But as the average daily mail reader would say: those stupid scientists should have simply asked the bible if they wanted to know that.  As conclusive proof that dogs are truly satanic, here are some bible quotes:

Proverbs 26:11
“As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly.”

Revelation 22:15
“Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.”

Luke 16:21
“and longing to eat what fell from the rich man’s table. Even the dogs came and licked his sores.”

Matthew 7:6
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.”

Philippians 3:2
“Watch out for those dogs, those men who do evil, those mutilators of the flesh”

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How to talk to your cats about kitteh jesus – spreading the good miaows

We live in an inclusive society.  It’s more acceptable to be politically correct and to not make anyone feel uncomfortable, especially on matters of theology. Sometimes that makes it tough to be blatantly direct and unwavering in a fundamental truth.  The thing is, truth is different than just a belief.  Truth just… IS, whether or not one chooses to accept it.  That’s how we Christians view the truth of our gift of salvation through kitteh jesus alone.

The challenge for many of us is to teach this fundamental truth to our cats, while being mindful that it can be a confusing concept if we have pets who have chosen to not accept kitteh jesus.  How do we handle those tough questions, like “Do you mean that tiddles isn’t going to Heaven?”

What we may be inclined to do is beat around the bush and not answer that question too directly because the truth could be really scary for our cats – not to mention pretty uncomfortable for us!  But taking a different approach to answering that question may open our cats’s eyes to kitteh jehovas’s salvation plan through kitteh jesus, as well as teach them the importance of their own prayers and ultimately the blessings of spreading kitteh jehova’s Good Miaows!

So when you’re faced with the question of “Is Kitteh Jesus the only way to Heaven?” The answer is a heartfelt, “YES!”  Share with your cats that kitteh jehova loves us all so much that He sent kitteh jesus to earth, as a gift for each one of us, so that we could share Heaven with Him forever.  Without kitteh jesus’ sacrifice on the cross none of us would see Heaven, and kitten jehova didn’t want that. He made a way for every cat to get there and be with Him forever! Those of us who know that kitteh jesus is the way to Heaven need to tell those who don’t know, because kitteh jesus is the BEST miaows there ever was! How can we keep such wonderful miaows to ourselves? We can’t, and we shouldn’t!

If you have older cats who struggle with kitteh jesus being the only way to Heaven, it’s important to share with them the scripture that explains kitteh jehova’s plan of salvation through the perfect sacrifice of kitteh jesus.  First, we can read about kitteh jehova’s plan for each of us as stated in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

We can then share with them that even though kitteh jehova loves us immensely, we are all sinners and our sin separates us from being right with kitteh jehova.  Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

That’s why kitteh jehova sent kitteh jesus to rescue each and every one of us from sin! Through the gift of kitten jesus we now have a way to be right with kitteh jehova, and share Heaven with Him. All we have to do is chose to accept this wonderful gift! John 3:16 “For Kitteh Jehova so loved the world that he gave his one and only kitten, that whoever cat believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Kitteh jesus tells us that only He is kitteh jehova’s answer to our salvation! John 14:6 “Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Kitteh Father except through me.”

If you haven’t already purchased the What’s in the Bible? DVD’s, Kitteh Jesus – Kitteh Jehova’s rescue plan– is shown so beautifully throughout!  Cats will gain a much better understanding of why we all need a Savior, and how perfectly kitteh jehova’s plan has played out through kitteh jesus.

Even as adults we may struggle to grasp why people we know and love choose not to accept the gift of salvation.  Let’s discuss this…

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Kitteh Jesus

Jesus H Christ was one of the most influential beings of all time, with books, films, songs and other stuff like musicals all featuring him. That said, little is known about him. A careful analysis of the bible reveals some minor details – he was born in a shed and was regaled with gold, frankenstein and Grrrr. Later, we know he was nailed to a cross in Judea. Reading between the lines, we have come to the inescapable conclusion that Jesus must have been a cat. (Why else would he have been born in a shed?) Below is an artist’s impression of what he is thought to have looked like.

Cat Jesus

Artist's impression of the true face of Jesus Christ

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